yep

 

I can't tell if I'm emotionally drained or if my emotions are about to boil over.

Today, Hannah and I took photos.
I wore little make up and a small amount of clothes.
I felt pretty.

kinda like that

So I think this is what my future is going to look like pretty soon..
I'll either be:

1.) Alone, clinically depressed, poor, jobless, homeless, no education, probably mentally crazy and end up killing myself because I'll be so fucking sad.

2.) A drunk/drug addict/some kind of klepto or something that drags everyone around me down and live a stressful life because I'm too fucking selfish to just let all these good people around me go.

I should choose the 1st one because less people will get hurt that way, but like I said...I'm selfish.

"if you love something, let it go."

...........................

fuck.

~*~wish~*~ list

Is it weird that I really honestly do not understand how people can be so close to their siblings?

Is that bad?

This is the only place I can say this exactly how it sounds in my mind and not worry about somebody getting it the wrong way.

Dakota, if I don't stay with you, I will literally die. And I hate myself for being so selfish and not just dying.
I'm a disgusting burden that deserves it.

I wish I would have brought my spare Trazadone. 
Even though I'm high and not thinking straight, I'd do it right now. 


Right fucking now. 

I swear I am trying

You know what's weird?

The fact that we'd probably still be together today if you're ignorant older brother hadn't convinced you that I'm worthless and a waste of time. We'd probably be living together by now because instead of running to Leyna's house when I ran away, I would have gone to you. I probably would have lost my virginity to you by now...Maybe even had a ring around my finger...

That talk changed everything for you for some reason. And I still don't know everything that was said.

Was whatever he told you worth it?

....should coulda woulda I guess.

kinda like that

Ana left her house/car keys in the house today as we were leaving to drop me off at the bus station. Security didn't help us out until it was time for me to be at the bus station.
I'm stuck here for a little bit.
I don't know when I'm going to see Dakota next.

This is why I don't let my friends become friends with my other friends.
Because then they either hate each other or become inseparable and I have to be in the fucking middle.

I don't care if you two lurk the fuck out of one another, just don't talk about it to me. You're two separate people and that's why I like you.

I seriously don't care.

take the picture, mom

Smoke weed and drink 40's. I don't give a fuck what you think is mature.

I'm never growing up. 

till the end and to the moon

I'll never love one like I do you

kinda like that